Grief doesn’t just affect your emotions, it affects your whole body. And one of the most noticeable (and often confusing) changes can be your relationship with food.

I've certainly found this since my Mum died. Some people find themselves eating more than usual, reaching for comfort foods or constantly snacking. Others go the opposite way, losing their appetite completely and struggling to eat even small amounts. I've found my diet isn't as healthy as it once was, and I'm reaching for quick meals with little energy to meal plan or prep.

If this is you, you’re not alone, and you’re not doing anything wrong.

Why grief affects appetite

When you experience loss, your body goes into a stress response. This is a natural, biological reaction designed to help you cope with something overwhelming.

Stress hormones like cortisol can rise, and this can affect people in different ways. For some, it increases cravings, especially for high-energy, sugary, or “comfort” foods - exactly what's happening for me! These foods can temporarily boost feel-good chemicals in the brain, offering short moments of relief.

For others, that same stress response suppresses hunger. The body essentially goes into a kind of shutdown mode, where eating feels unimportant or even difficult. You might feel nauseous, disconnected from hunger cues, or simply too emotionally drained to think about food.

Grief can also affect brain chemicals like dopamine and serotonin, which play a role in appetite, motivation, and pleasure. That’s part of why food might feel either more comforting than usual or completely unappealing.

There’s no “right” way to respond

It’s easy to judge yourself during grief. Especially if your eating habits change. You might worry you’re overeating, or feel concerned that you’re not eating enough.

But both responses are incredibly common.

Grief isn’t just something you think about, it’s something your body experiences. Changes in appetite are part of that.

Gentle ways to support yourself

Instead of focusing on control or strict routines, it can help to shift your mindset towards care and flexibility.

If you’re eating more:
Try to approach it without guilt. Food might be offering comfort during a time when you need it most. If you can, gently add in foods that help you feel physically nourished too, but without taking away the comfort. For me, adding some fruit and veg alongside meals has really helped.

If you’re eating less:
Keep things simple. Small, regular meals or snacks can feel more manageable than full meals. Soft, easy foods or drinks (like soups, smoothies, or toast) can help when appetite is low.

In both cases:
Think about consistency over perfection. Eating something is better than nothing. And meeting yourself with kindness will always be more helpful than criticism.

A final thought

Grief can feel unpredictable, and so can your appetite. Some days you might feel okay, and others it might feel overwhelming again.

That doesn’t mean you’re going backwards, it means you’re human.

Your body is trying to cope with something deeply painful. The way you eat during this time isn’t a failure of willpower, it’s part of your response to loss.

So if things feel “off,” try to meet yourself with a little more understanding.

You’re carrying a lot. And that deserves care.